The Perfect Umbrella for Canadians

It's probably one of the biggest pet peeves of walking downtown on a rainy day: getting poked in the eye with an umbrella. But lo and behold, there is an invention to solve any pet peeve! Check out this umbrella that can partially collapse itself so that you can fit between people/things without hurting someone and/or breaking your umbrella! This "polite umbrella" should be a big hit here in Canada, where we're apparently known for our politeness. Can they make it so it also says "excuse me" as you pass people?